Updated: Aug 20, 2020
The Spin City Laundry Shop is born from a CLOSURE.
(Please press the play button before you read)
"The Eldest Son Unsent Love Letter" (Part 3).
Story by Mharis Caniezo
Sometimes what we FEAR is to become alone. Sometimes what we FEAR is someone will get mad on us. And Sometimes what we FEAR the most is what we most need to do. What happened? Where did we screw up?
I never saw it coming.
I lied down in rose petals last September when we first meet a day before your birthday and woke up in an anxious fog a day before the New Years end. Nothing but hatred remains in your eyes when mine are overflowing with tears of tired sadness.
"Did it evaporate in the flame we thought was warming our hearts? How is it possible to wake up strangers to each other?"
Sometimes during our video call you suddenly get mad and shout because you thought I am drunk. But you didn’t even bother to ask if my health is ok, if my heart is ok. I just can’t tell you yet that my body is in the middle of adjustment not of the pain that you're giving but because of the medication so my heart will keep on beating.
When I found out that I have a heart problem I keep it to myself, even it's so painful and hard to accept. I remember the day when you proposed on my birthday. and that’s also the same day I got the result if my heart is ok.
I ache. And I know you ache too. Because despite your I=don’t-wanna-see look, you do see. Your heart whispers it to you. You ache in a “fuck this” way. I ache in a “I’m afraid” way. But ache is the only thing we have in common now.
I had sworn to myself never to become everything I am today. I don’t know the person staring back at me in the mirror. I missed a step, a clue. I must have missed something but I don’t know what.
And so I cry out. In the hope of making things better. Of starting something new, maybe even a war before prosperous new year. But it’s all downhill from here. And so I write to understand, when it is it all began.